A Letter From a Seafarer’s Girlfriend

If there is one remarkable advice I have given to someone, it is to never fall in love with a seafarer.

And then I met you.

Frankly, never have I imagined being in this situation. And this is not really what I see the night you introduced yourself to me. I thought it will be all about a lovey-dovey stuff. We were inseparable then and we were crazy about each other. I don’t understand why you insist on doing all the things I can do and I find it unusual to treat me more than special. I don’t even understand why you spent all your time with me. You would say, “Just this time,” and right then and there I know you won’t be able to do these things sooner.

Everything is much clearer now that you are away. I understand that your job is more than having pride in that white uniform, or in that haircut, or even in that snappy walk and talk. It’s more about working away from home – taking risks for the benefit of people you love out of the homesickness of that oil-stained face.

On some days I just find myself waking up without your usual morning call. I find myself waiting for a message I know I won’t be receiving. I find myself going to sleep with the hope that my phone might be ringing one last time, just this time. But no. I should have known that the moment I chose to love you is the time I embraced the fact that loving a seafarer is not only about loving someone from a distance. It is a blind shooting love – it is loving someone with all possible uncertainties, what ifs, and being clueless on when he comes back. It is not measured on how long you wait but it’s about how you understand why you wait.

And if you would call, know that my heart leaps for every small talk. Every time is more meaningful may it be a minute or two. We know communication is the key to every relationship but now, my love, it is more about trust. I trust you to take care of yourself while you are away because I will do all of that when you’ll be with me. I trust you to be faithful because all I ever did is to wait for you. And I trust you to come back like what you promised you would do.

My love, loving you is a risk but I wouldn’t mind loving you anyway. I believe only in you I can find love as deep as the ocean, as steady as the anchor, and as luxurious as the ship. I wouldn’t mind spending all my life waiting for you. And in God’s time, I know I will not be alone to do all the waiting – there will be these small people learning to say your name. And for the mean time, I still have all my time to get used to this. And I pray for your safety, that you may come back safe from navigating on seas.

They say only a strong heart can love, but it takes a stronger heart to love a seafarer.


I’m keeping you a secret for as long as I can

I don’t want to show you off for the whole world to know that I am secretly seeing you but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the same way towards you.

We are at the point between dating and hanging out and I believe that we can keep each other secret for as long as we can. What we have right now is for us to understand and I believe that’s what matters. We don’t need validations from people who don’t even have any idea about how we came up to this. I can’t even figure out myself how we came right where we are now – so sudden, like whirlwind romance, the kind of love that made people sweep them off their feet.

For now let us enjoy this quiet space between the two of us. Let us talk about how you mustered the courage to talk to me, and how everything follows after that night in that coffee shop. Let us talk about our awkward talks to our planned travels. Tell me about ships and seas and I’ll tell you how my heart went premature ventricular contraction with your haircut and white uniform. Let’s wander to places we are unfamiliar with and just laugh at the thought of getting lost together.

Let us not tell the world what’s going on between us. Let them read between lines and never reveal about us. Let them wonder why I let someone fetch me at midnight and bring my loads of stuff. Let them guess your name and what’s really going on between us because honestly, we don’t know either.

We are at the point between dating and hanging out and I believe that we can keep each other a secret for a very long time. I believe there is a right time for everything. Let us pursue our dreams together and I couldn’t be more excited than seeing you navigating while I am dressed in my laboratory coat. Because again, what’s going on between us is for us to understand that what we had is not just merely dating – we are waiting for the right time, and that’s more than just hanging out.