If there is one remarkable advice I have given to someone, it is to never fall in love with a seafarer.
And then I met you.
Frankly, never have I imagined being in this situation. And this is not really what I see the night you introduced yourself to me. I thought it will be all about a lovey-dovey stuff. We were inseparable then and we were crazy about each other. I don’t understand why you insist on doing all the things I can do and I find it unusual to treat me more than special. I don’t even understand why you spent all your time with me. You would say, “Just this time,” and right then and there I know you won’t be able to do these things sooner.
Everything is much clearer now that you are away. I understand that your job is more than having pride in that white uniform, or in that haircut, or even in that snappy walk and talk. It’s more about working away from home – taking risks for the benefit of people you love out of the homesickness of that oil-stained face.
On some days I just find myself waking up without your usual morning call. I find myself waiting for a message I know I won’t be receiving. I find myself going to sleep with the hope that my phone might be ringing one last time, just this time. But no. I should have known that the moment I chose to love you is the time I embraced the fact that loving a seafarer is not only about loving someone from a distance. It is a blind shooting love – it is loving someone with all possible uncertainties, what ifs, and being clueless on when he comes back. It is not measured on how long you wait but it’s about how you understand why you wait.
And if you would call, know that my heart leaps for every small talk. Every time is more meaningful may it be a minute or two. We know communication is the key to every relationship but now, my love, it is more about trust. I trust you to take care of yourself while you are away because I will do all of that when you’ll be with me. I trust you to be faithful because all I ever did is to wait for you. And I trust you to come back like what you promised you would do.
My love, loving you is a risk but I wouldn’t mind loving you anyway. I believe only in you I can find love as deep as the ocean, as steady as the anchor, and as luxurious as the ship. I wouldn’t mind spending all my life waiting for you. And in God’s time, I know I will not be alone to do all the waiting – there will be these small people learning to say your name. And for the mean time, I still have all my time to get used to this. And I pray for your safety, that you may come back safe from navigating on seas.
They say only a strong heart can love, but it takes a stronger heart to love a seafarer.